i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
