you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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