I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize