I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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