so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
