This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no you cant smoke seaweed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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