Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
