I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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