I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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