Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can I color on your dick again?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
