Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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