He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
