Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
someone owes me an orgasm
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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