Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
my liver is dry heaving
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