My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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