Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
