She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
