3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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