she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
