Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
