I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
