My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize