i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize