But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
