I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Less talking, more tequila
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
