So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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