when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize