it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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