i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
