I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize