R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just pee around me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
