Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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