he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We're too hungover to prance.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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