So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
