You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
