I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
