Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
