i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize