Are we in a gay sports bar?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
