So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
