Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
