She is in my trunk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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