Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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