taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
