My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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