Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
