One girl and one boy is just not enough.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
