wakey wakey hands off snakey
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
