No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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