I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
