Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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