haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
