Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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