i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
