Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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