Non-Jews are for practice
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
