Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
