i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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