how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
