It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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