I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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