i don't like sucking hair
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
