So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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