so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
