We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
