So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
