3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
