i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have aggressive nipples.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
