I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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