i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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