I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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