im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
