after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Please don't give away my fajitas
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
